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NeuroFunk 3

Author: Lindy Tan
Sunday, 1 January 1995
Event: NeuroFunk 3 @ The Locarno

Reviewer: Lindy Tan

Date: Friday 20th November 1998

Attractions/Facilities: A night of rollin' jungle and drum n' bass courtesy of Eye Spy, 1LC, Atom 1, Dope Beat and Ransom - MC Raph Boogie on the mike.

The Score: For the past few months I had revelled in a simple existence on a distant mountain top, growing my own parsnips, spearing goats and achieving spiritual enlightenment, consuming only the most pungent of herbal teas, gnawing only the juiciest of fish as I plucked them, still wriggling, from the iciest mountain streams. One morning as I milked my favourite llama Jo Beth Taylor, I heard a spine-chilling cry echo from across the jagged peaks of the mountains, a high-pitched wail that pierced the souls of brave men and chilled the blood. "What's that, Jo Beth-" I exclaimed as I clutched her udder. But alas - she was only a dumb creature, and could not speak English unless it was prompted to her by autocue. I sat and pondered for a while. Then I jumped up and shouted. "Jo Beth! Could that be the wrathful cry of Greg Scealy, club editor of Beat, calling me to war-" And indeed it was so. I was dragged by the hair, kicking and screaming, into the foul darkness of clubland, my bearskin kimono carelessly discarded, my raccoon-hide thongs hastily replaced with trainers. And then - I was taken to Neurofunk.

Unable to recognize what a dance-party looked like anymore, my friend and I proceeded to bop up and down on the lower level of Locarno in Greville St, only to be told "can you please get out this is a Greek 21st." Rather shaken, we made our way slowly up the stairs and by the feel of the walls and floor as we approached the top room (they were rumbling with the power of the bass) we knew we were on the right track. The small barn-like room was nicely filled with a mix of people happily jumping to the sounds of the EZ-Rollers and Successful Criminals (thanks Khalil) as well as "Alien Girl" by Ed Rush and Optical (look out for those two live at the Hi-Fi bar this Saturday). A friendly, laid-back vibe emanated from the dancers clad in everything from flannies and cargos to tiny bikini tops. Atom 1 took to the loft-like DJ booth at 1am and definitely impressed. The owner of the posh Locarno restaurant plans to introduce more specialist music events in the coming months, and seemed to enjoy the fact that people were madly neuro-funking away on the floor upstairs. Congrats to Andy for making the third installment of Neurofunk a good party - the way it should be - small and friendly. As we left, I could hear the lonely baa-aaas of Jo Beth reverberating over the city skyline, calling me back to my mountain retreat. And I admit that for a while I hesitated; but then thought, "naaaaaaaaaah!!!!!"

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