Black Dog Welcome American Apocalypse
Author: Jonty Skrufff
Friday, October 26, 2007
"Hand on heart, I don't care if New York or Miami are swamped," said Black Dog founder member Ken Downie, "And if it could take California with it, I would be over the moon," he laughed.
"There's way too much bullshit comes out of America and I'm so very fucking bored with its politicians, it' pseudo-scientific epidemiological Nazism, and its puritanical suppression of the free trade in medicinal herbs. Criminal cartels and terrorist organisations have thrived because of their bullshit.
"I'd be sorry for the loss of life, obviously," he conceded, "But if it means I can grow what I want in my own garden- and their un- democratic prohibitions become unenforceable, then bring it on. Anarchists (along with fat people, smoking people, and drinking
people) are waiting to inherit and live in the ruins of capitalism.
"It won't be pretty, but it might be more free. Capitalism's greed and excess has fucked the planet. So I hope you understand why I would have little sympathy. It's not that I'm uncaring, or inhuman. Honest," said Ken.
Ken's comments struck an unlikely chord with leading US evangelist Marsha West who this week branded California 'Sodomfornia' before launching a wider attack against metrosexuals ('like male vanity products and herpes, they're pretty much everywhere').
"Clean and neat is good. Body odour is bad. And no one wants to see dirty fingernails, or worse yet hair jutting out of someone's nose or ears," she agreed, "However, I'd be mortified if my husband painted his nails and donned a sarong. As a girlie girl I want a manly man by my side," she ranted.
In more US cosmetic news, a new study ranking US cities according to numbers of beautiful people ranked Miami and San Diego the top, with obesity rates influencing the 60,000 people polled, press reports suggested.
"Are you fat, ugly, lazy, unstylish, unworldly and unfriendly-" the Metro newspaper, "If the answer is yes then move to Philadelphia you'll feel right at home according to a poll of Americans."
Philadelphia just beat Washington DC and Dallas as America's ugliest city, the paper added.
Black Dog: Temple Of Transparent Balls is out shortly on Soma Records. Tags