"Predatory He-Men' Stalk Metrosexuals

A new survey of British men's grooming habits has revealed that 80% of British men remain unenthusiastic about toiletries and face creams, prompting trendspotter queen Marian Salzman to declare the death of the metrosexual.

"Watch out for predatory, liberated he-men "a la Brad Pitt in Troy," she predicted in the Sunday Times this week, "And a new battle of the sexes as the males among us decide they don't want to be soft metrosexuals anymore."

The marketing expert previously named Osama Bin Laden as "one to watch' in 2000 though gained wider recognition for her sooth-saying abilities in 2003, when she defined metrosexuals as "just gay enough to be really desirable as a straight.'

Skrufff's man-in-New York Larry Tee, who's coincidentally just written a song called Metrosexual, was unimpressed with Salzman's predictions, however.

"The power of pussy can start a war but not the fear of dick," he suggested. "I don't think there will a war over this issue though tough dudes in America face an uphill battle as more TV shows and movies remove the stigma of homosexuality and metrosexuality," he told Skrufff.

"Chic nightclubs will always prefer a more sophisticated clientele and I haven't seen that change," Larry continued.

"Though I've also written a new song called "Grip It' for Vancouver smut-punk duo, Stink Mitt, about how to keep a 'real man' that has belches in it. It may not increase metrosexuality but it will create more freedom for those who belch."
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