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London Coke Cop A Thwarted Thespian

Author: Jonty Skrufff
Sunday, February 20, 2005
London's new cocaine obsessed chief of police Sir |an Blair only joined the cops after failing to become an actor, the Sunday Times has revealed.

The newspaper branded the 51 year old commander a "lost luvvie' who dreamed of stardom during his student days at Oxford University and concluded their feature by questioning his drug use.

"Blair has refused to say whether he smoked cannabis as a student," said the Times, "But another of the alumni, Sire Gavin Arthur, a barrister and former Lord Mayor of London said "Ian had a beard them but I can truthfully tell you that there are absolutely no other indiscretions to report."

The article coincided with a feature on the Times' trendsetting Style guide called "Meet the Cocaine Yogis' headlined "middle class bingers don't need punishing, they're punishing themselves enough already."

"By using yoga, healthy living and alternative therapies, cocaine-yoga types believe they can achieve balance in their lives," the article explained.

"It is people like this, Sir Ian Blair, the new Metropolitan Police commissioner, wants to target in his crackdown on middle class coke users. But the cocaine yogi is his own policeman," the Sunday Times sniffed.