Royal Nightclub Thug Pleads "Temporary Insanity'

Prince Ernst August of Hanover escaped jail this week after he appealed against a suspended sentence handed down for attacking a nightclub owner of Kenya four years ago. The German-English aristocrat was instead fined ¢445,000 by a Hanover Court and warned that he faces jail if he offends again.

The victim of his drunken assault, described as a "German pig' by Prince Ernst, was left with "life threatening injuries' the Times reported, after the Prince (a cousin of England's Queen Elizabeth) became enraged by noise from the disco.

"Alcohol consumption and a high level of personal excitement prompted him to lose control," his lawyer told the Court, adding that the 50 year old royal had been gripped by "temporary insanity'.

His circumstances set an ominous precedent for hooligan pretender Prince Harry who yet again appeared in the tabloids this week over delinquency allegations emerging from his recent jaunt to Argentina. The pot-smoking prince is also due to attend officers' training school at Sandhurst Royal Military Academy shortly, where he's likely to learn advanced fighting skills as well as a metronomic appreciation of hard techno and gabba beats.

"Your first few days go by in a daze," fellow Old Etonian Sandhurst student Nicholas Tobin told the Guardian last week, "you're marched around at 160 paces to the minute, you're mentally and physically exhausted."

Prince Harry could also find himself mixing with seriously bad company, the newspaper suggested.

"If his time there runs to form he will meet at least one future tyrant and several young men who will go on to fleece billions from their countries," the Guardian predicted.

"The academy famously trained Idi Amin of Uganda, Sani Abacha of Nigeria, Johnny Koroma of Sierra Leone, alleged Etonian mercenary Simon Mann, a clutch of crooked defence ministers from oil-rich states and most of the Ghanian and Nigerian cabinets."

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