Not So Special FBI Agent Fired For Flashing

A previously suppressed report analysing 'the worst of the worst' amongst American FBI agents was published this week, revealing that over 1 in 1000 agents were fired between 1996 and 1999 for 'egregious behaviour [extraordinarily bad/ ridiculous behaviour- long words ed]'.

The three year old report outlines cases including one G Man busted 'trying to sell cocaine to an undercover FBI agent' (The Guardian) and another busted for 'calling sex lines with Bureau phones while on duty'. One of the most egregious examples, however, concerned one agent described by investigating Senator Chuck Grassley as 'a paraphiliac engaging in fetishism.'

"This agent was fired for criminal, sexual offences involving numerous incidents of sexual behaviour in public," the Senator said in a letter to FBI Director Robert Mueller, "including public masturbation and frequent assault on his victims."

'This shocking report is a laundry list of horrors, with examples of agents who committed rape, sexual crimes against children, other sexual deviance and misconduct . . .more

J Edgar Hoover; director of the FBI from 1924 until his death in 1972: 'There are numerous stories of Hoover appearing in drag in New York. Usually in a red dress, he liked to be called "Mary" . . .'more

'From 1868 to 1975, the Federal Vampire & Zombie Agency (FVZA) was responsible for controlling the nation's vampire and zombie populations . . .' [includes sword-fighting tips for killing the undead])more
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