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Mile High Club Entry Requirements Revealed

Author: Jonty Skrufff
Sunday, February 15, 2004
"Having sex on a plane automatically makes you a member of the Mile High Club", the Daily Mirror declared this week, in their Valentine themed tips for spicing up your sex life.

"When the videos are being shown you can conceal your activities under an airline blanket," sex specialist Liz Coldwell advised.

"And unlike a coach or a train, if you're discovered, you can't be booted off."

The paper also urged readers to try having sex in the bushes at the bottom of their gardens ('the worst you'll get is a few scratches') while new magazine Zoo's Valentine advice urged male readers to forget about fancy foreplay.

"Pre-sex neck-kissing and ear-nibbling are a waste of time, say a third of British women quizzed on foreplay," Zoo reported.

"When they're hot for a man they want him in their knickers at the first chance."

Rival magazine Nuts was similarly keen to simplify seduction, suggesting giving a girl chocolate is the surest recipe for sexual success.

"The best-selling Valentines gift in the UK," said Nuts.

"But if you're going down the chocolate route, you will definitely get your just rewards, just make sure you get 70% solids."
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