'Genetic Viagra' Sex Stamina Breakthrough Dismissed

The Daily Telegraph reacted oddly to news this week that scientists have managed to boost fruit flies' sexual stamina by 50%, by tweaking their genes, declaring the research 'horrifying' and unlikely to ever become applicable for humans.

"The tranquil, hopeless sex life cherished by the British male will remain that," the avowedly conservative newspaper predicted.

"And those many selfless women, on whose willingness occasionally to lie back and think of England the continuation of our island race depends, won't need to memorise the second verse of Jerusalem just yet," they added.

In more alarming news for dysfunctional Brits, The New of the World claimed this week that new Viagra-like sex drug Cialis 'could destroy marriages', with one pill apparently lasting up to 36 hours.

"Patients find they can have sex in the evening, the next morning and for the rest of that day. But their partner may not be able to handle it," Dr Richard Petty told the tabloid.

"It may cause friction in the relationship," he warned.

('San Francisco has petitioned federal regulators to warn that the anti-impotence drugs like Viagra use could increase the risk of sexually transmitted disease and HIV, officials said on Monday . . .')

Jonty Skrufff (Skrufff.com) Tags