TF Archives

Dope Prince Denies Cheating Claims

Author: Jonty Skrufff
Monday, October 18, 2004
Friends and relatives of pot smoking Prince Harry strenuously denied claims by one of his Eton teachers that he'd cheated in his Art A Level this week, stressing that the notoriously intellectually challenged royal had achieved Grade B fairly.

"Everyone knows Harry is no Einstein but he's also no cheat," a "friend of the family' told the News Of The World. "His father is worried this will cast a shadow over his entire future". Meanwhile, in the Mirror, a "friend of Harry' declared "while he may not be particularly known for his academic achievements, one thing he is really good at is art."

According to the press, Harry's Art A level pass is "significant' because he needed it to study at the army' officers' training college at Sandhurst though quite how it will help his military training remains unclear (though he'll presumably be a huge asset for face painting duties for camouflage games and all night boot-polish-on-face army exercises).

The wayward prince has been plagued by scandal ever since he was caught hosting wild drug parties at Prince Charles' palace at Highgrove (again by the News of the World) and was also particularly vilified after being forced to stay at Eton for another year after achieving the worst A level grade in his entire year (a grade D in Geography.)

However, he received unlikely support this time from notoriously vicious tabloid hack Amanda Platell, who suggested "isn't it time we gave him a break-"

"We've always known Harry was one prawn short of a Barbie (barbecue- Oz slang ed)," she pointed out, "but if being thick made one unsuitable to be a member of the Royal family, it would be extinct by now." (The Standard)