Mooning Squadies Bare Bums for Britain

Cheeky Londoners currently tormenting American magician David Blaine in his suspended perspex box above the Thames, are standing up for British values, according to most reports in this week's newspapers.

The multi-millionaire illusionist has been pelted with raw eggs and mooned by 10 drunken British soldiers (who 'bared their bottoms in traditional English style', as The Standard put it) though was most unsettled by passers-by aiming laser pens, the Mirror revealed.

"David was very frightened," a security source told the paper.

"Because in America a red dot means that someone is aiming a gun at you."

Standard columnist Will Self suggested plucky Brits are targeting Blaine because 'he has committed the gravest of British sins- Taking Oneself Too Seriously', while The Guardian stressed the bad behaviour 'is no cause for shame.'

"One of the wonderful things about the modern British is that they are no respecters of persons, however elevated," The Guardian added.

"They also have a keen sense of the absurd: and a nose for a poseur."
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