Dizzy Royal Rascal Dumbs Down Eton

Anti-cannabis campaigners are likely to be ecstatic this week following revelations that royal pot fiend Prince Harry came bottom of his class in recent A Level examinations.

The binge drinking druggy achieved a B grade in his Art A Level and a D in Geography, and was outed as the College dunce by Eton's headmaster Tony Little. According to the News of the World, the headmaster 'let the cat out of the bag, proudly telling youngsters every student bar one had gained grades C and above," at a student assembly.

The news is particularly humiliating for the intellectually challenged 19 year old since he'd already been held back a year after struggling with his A levels the year before. His academic struggles appear to have intensified ever since tabloids revealed he'd regularly smoked pot, suggesting cannabis really could have screwed him up.

In more bad news for the Prince, infamous UK columnist Julie Burchill launched a scathing attack on his aunt Sarah Ferguson (ex wife of Prince Andrew) this week and insulted his entire family.

"What she is despised for is not seeing the shamefulness of making a handsome living from being a parasite on parasites," The Guardian polemicist spat.

"The living embodiment of that 'Your dog's so dirty, his fleas have fleas' joke."

Harry is being sent to Australia for a 'gap year' (this weekend) after which he'll be joining the British Army.

PRINCE Harry will arrive in Australia on Monday [22] . . . he is expected to spend some time on a sheep farm, take part in a polo match and watch England play in the Rugby World Cup . . .'
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